Remembering Dad

I would like to start this post by thanking all of our friends, family and co-workers for all that you have done for us. Although this past week has been difficult, God has been so kind to us by providing great peace. We have also been greatly impacted by the amount of people that came to the viewing and funeral on Thursday and Friday. Some of them we have not seen in years, but once they heard that Ricard had passed away, they came to pay their respects. The funeral service went equally well. Rene did a great job delivering the eulogy. As he walked up to the pulpit, he gently laid his hand on his father's coffin, just another way of telling his dad he loved him. On the way to the cemetery, we were privileged to have police escort. When we were close to the cemetery, we looked back and we could see that the line of cars extended really far back, about 60 to 70 cars in length. The long processional was just another sign that my father-in-law was very loved by all the people he met.

If you could, please pray for continued strength as we look to serve Rene's mom and grandmother. We would like to share with you Rene's eulogy so that those of you who may not have known Ricardo could get a good picture of what his life was all about.

Dear friends and family, on behalf of my mother, grandmother, uncle and I, I would like to thank you for your support, prayers, and friendship during this difficult season. All of you have been a tremendous means of God’s grace in our lives and your prayers, visits, cards, e-mails, flowers and other expressions of your love toward my family have served as a reminder of the full extent of my father’s love and dedication toward his family and friends. Today, we have gathered together to say good bye to a beloved son, brother, husband, father, and friend; but most importantly, we have gathered to celebrate the life of my father and the legacy that he has left us.

As many of you know, my father was a very loving, caring, compassionate, and humble man; always willing to help anyone in their time of need, no matter how great or small the need. If he thought that he could help by cleaning your gutters, he would do it and not even mention it. In the spring, dad would claim up to the roof to clean the gutters, by the time the day had ended, dad had cleaned half the neighborhood’s gutters. If you fell on hard times, there was no hesitation; dad would pull out the check book and give as much as he could. I remember one night when I was about 10 years old, the phone rang, and it was about 11:00 PM, late by my parent’s standards. I work only to hear the mumblings of a conversation coming from my parent’s bedroom. A few minutes later I heard my parent’s bedroom door open and I heard the shuffling of papers. Curious to find out want was going on, I walked to the dinning room table to ask what was going on, only to find my dad writing out a check. Not knowing any better, I ask why he was writing a check at 11:15 in the evening. My father never lifting his head simply said, someone needs our help and this money is our simple attempt to serve them. I never knew who the person was that called that night; all I know is that in a season when my parents were saving to buy their first home, dad felt it more important to help someone in need than worry about fulfilling one of his dreams. You see, my father always said “God has blessed us so that we may be a blessing to others in their time of need.”

My father was also a hard working man, no stranger to long hours in the greasy sweaty surrounding of the small machine shop in Rockville where he worked and where he devoted himself to whatever task needed to be accomplished during the day. I had the pleasure of sharing one summer working in the shop with him and learning a small fraction of what my dad knew of the business. That summer, I came to know what it meant to put in an honest day’s work, not because of what I did, but because of what I witnessed my dad do. I had a front role seat to his daily work and his strong work ethic. That summer I learned that my dad’s work ethic was not fueled by a selfish desire for the material; instead it was fueled by his dedication to his family and a better life for my mother, grandmother, myself, and in the past few years for my wife and his beloved granddaughter.

Although my dad was never a man of many words, that summer my dad said more through his actions than I had ever heard come from his mouth. Every day that summer, my dad would quietly take both his and my lunch and heat it up before anyone could get to the microwave so that we could both eat together. We would sit in the shipping area of the shop and exchange how our days were going. Dad humored my stories about how busy I was packing things up in the shipping area, how I had “helped” in the sanding room, or how I spent the morning learning how to dip parts into the chemical tanks, as if my work was no less important than his. That one summer in 1995 taught me more about my dad and the values he had tried to instill in me from the moment I was old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. These are the values that have informed how I lead my family. These are the values I hope to pass down to my daughter Izzy and soon to be born son Ricky.

But I would leave you with an incomplete picture of my father if I did not mention his sense of humor, the one trait that made life just a little bit more enjoyable and a little bit funnier. You see, to my father there was never a bad occasion to crack a joke or make a group of family and friends laugh. For dad, humor was the way he made everyone forget how bad the week had been, that life was not about the next promotion, or the next accolade, but that life was about enjoying it and enjoying the company of those he loved and those that loved him. Although dad’s sense of humor always brightened up the room, as a teenager it often resulted in moments of embarrassment.

For example, one evening dad decided to take us out to dinner to a new Mexican restaurant a few minutes from the house. Throughout dinner everything went as normal, but I noticed dad was order more food than usual. When dinner was finally over, my dad looks at mom and me and says, “Watch this.” He calls the waiter over and asks for the check. When the waiter returns with the check, my dad asked, with a serious look on his face, “Is it okay to pay with food stamps?” The waiter looking bewildered by the question responds with “I don’t think so, aren’t those for buying food?” To which my father responds, didn’t we just eat food. The waiter begins to look concerned that he is going to have to call the manager over to remedy the situation. After a couple more exchanges, my dad starts to laugh and says to the waiter, “Don’t worry I was just kidding” and hands him his credit card. The sense of relief on the waiters face was priceless. As the waiter takes a few steps to go and swipe dad’s credit card, my dad stops him and says with a huge grin on his face, “but its okay to give you your tip in food stamps, right?” The waiter just smiled nervously back at dad. Mom and I were a bit embarrassed at the practical joke, but we ended up getting a kick out of the whole thing.

Later on when I graduated from college and I was taking my career too seriously, I remember my dad asking if I was taking life too serious and if I was having fun. Since dad never said much, his question caused me to pause and reflect on what he was really asking. He was right, I was working too much and not finding joy in the things that he valued most, family, friends, the opportunity to serve others, and laughter.

My dad’s legacy is simple, love and take care of your family, serve others, and always remember to laugh, life is too short not to. I love you dad and I thank you for being an example of what it means to be a good husband, father, and son. I will miss you, but I know that we will see each other again as we praise God for his awesome gift of salvation.